Breastfeeding is HARD

I don't think many people will be all that interested in this post. However, if even one person reads it and can relate or find information that may help their breastfeeding journey then writing it was worth while.

Audrey and I have had a very difficult time breastfeeding. She wouldn't latch at all in the hospital. We even stayed for two days instead of one so I could get help from a lactation consultant, but she still wouldn't latch. I really wanted to be able to breastfeed at some point so I pumped in the hospital and we fed her with a cup. Yep, I was feeding a one day old baby out of a teeny, tiny cup. Sounds super fun right!

When we got home our doula recommended a different lactation consultant. So I made an appointment for Monday and we kept cup feeding until then. With the help of the lactation consultant we were able to get Audrey latched with a nipple shield. But she still wasn't nursing very well so I  had to pump after each nursing session and then finger feed her. We still weren't ready to use a bottle so we were finger feeding (they suck milk out of a lube you hold in your finger).

We kept nursing, pumping, and finger feeding for about a week before Audrey finally would eat efficiently with the shield. That was a long week. She is now 9 weeks old and is getting all of her food from nursing, unless I'm not home then she gets a bottle. But she is only now starting to be able to nurse without the shield, and even now we use the shield most of the time.

Point being, breastfeeding has been really hard for me and I know many moms have similar experiences. Many of us end up feeling inadequate because we struggle with what we feel should be a simple, natural act. After struggling with this myself I have come to understand how hard it can be for so many moms. I completely understand those who choose to exclusively pump and feed their baby breast milk from a bottle. I also completely understand those who just can't nurse. Breast milk is best from babies, but formula is the next best thing and breastfeeding just doesn't work for everyone. The world will not end if you feed your baby formula, that baby will be just fine.

We have worked hard to get Audrey nursing well, cup feeding, finger feeding, pumping, and we even took her to an osteopathic manipulative doctor to have her head and jaw adjusted to improve her latch. I still don't really understand what this doctor does but her latch has improved and she is finished with her treatments so we'll say it was helpful. I understand and support moms who just don't have the time or energy to work that hard at breastfeeding. It was often exhausting and frustrating.

In my opinion the most important thing is that moms feel supported in whatever choice they make. And that if a mom wants to breastfeed but is struggling she understands that she is not the only one struggling and there are resources to make things easier. And if she wants to do formula she shouldn't feel inadequate or judged. We are all just doing the best we can.

I will get off my soapbox now. Here is a picture of my beautiful baby who has been fed breast milk in more ways than most!