Breastfeeding is HARD

I don't think many people will be all that interested in this post. However, if even one person reads it and can relate or find information that may help their breastfeeding journey then writing it was worth while.

Audrey and I have had a very difficult time breastfeeding. She wouldn't latch at all in the hospital. We even stayed for two days instead of one so I could get help from a lactation consultant, but she still wouldn't latch. I really wanted to be able to breastfeed at some point so I pumped in the hospital and we fed her with a cup. Yep, I was feeding a one day old baby out of a teeny, tiny cup. Sounds super fun right!

When we got home our doula recommended a different lactation consultant. So I made an appointment for Monday and we kept cup feeding until then. With the help of the lactation consultant we were able to get Audrey latched with a nipple shield. But she still wasn't nursing very well so I  had to pump after each nursing session and then finger feed her. We still weren't ready to use a bottle so we were finger feeding (they suck milk out of a lube you hold in your finger).

We kept nursing, pumping, and finger feeding for about a week before Audrey finally would eat efficiently with the shield. That was a long week. She is now 9 weeks old and is getting all of her food from nursing, unless I'm not home then she gets a bottle. But she is only now starting to be able to nurse without the shield, and even now we use the shield most of the time.

Point being, breastfeeding has been really hard for me and I know many moms have similar experiences. Many of us end up feeling inadequate because we struggle with what we feel should be a simple, natural act. After struggling with this myself I have come to understand how hard it can be for so many moms. I completely understand those who choose to exclusively pump and feed their baby breast milk from a bottle. I also completely understand those who just can't nurse. Breast milk is best from babies, but formula is the next best thing and breastfeeding just doesn't work for everyone. The world will not end if you feed your baby formula, that baby will be just fine.

We have worked hard to get Audrey nursing well, cup feeding, finger feeding, pumping, and we even took her to an osteopathic manipulative doctor to have her head and jaw adjusted to improve her latch. I still don't really understand what this doctor does but her latch has improved and she is finished with her treatments so we'll say it was helpful. I understand and support moms who just don't have the time or energy to work that hard at breastfeeding. It was often exhausting and frustrating.

In my opinion the most important thing is that moms feel supported in whatever choice they make. And that if a mom wants to breastfeed but is struggling she understands that she is not the only one struggling and there are resources to make things easier. And if she wants to do formula she shouldn't feel inadequate or judged. We are all just doing the best we can.

I will get off my soapbox now. Here is a picture of my beautiful baby who has been fed breast milk in more ways than most!

A Post for Audrey

Fair warning this is a birth story post for Audrey. If you get squeamish at childbirth you may not want to read on. I won't include any gory pictures or anything, but some still may not care for this one.

Dear Audrey,

This is the story of how you were born. I hope someday you appreciate having  it written down for you. Thankfully, it is a pretty dull story, just how all birth stories should be!

Your dad and I had a pretty specific plan for how we wanted your birth to go. We wanted to have as natural a childbirth as possible. We had attended classes and hired a doula to help us get the experience we wanted. But really it was all up to you. And you cooperated, thank you!

You were due November 19th and entered the world on November 21st, the day before Thanksgiving. I went to the doctor the day before you were born and was told I was maybe one centimeter dilated. In other words my body had really not started getting ready for you to come yet. The doctor said "we'll see you again in a few days, I doubt you'll have this baby soon." You had other ideas.

I started having contractions here and there in the evening of the 20th but I just thought they were braxton hicks. However, by 2 am I could not sleep through them anymore and was pretty uncomfortable. They were about 3 minutes apart at this point, they were about 3 minutes apart the whole time. No breaks for mom, thanks. Our plan was to stay at home as long as possible to help facilitate as natural a birth as possible, so I got in the bathtub for some relief and we called the doula. By about 6:30 am things were much more intense so Mitzi (our doula) came on over to help out. I continued to labor at home until about 9 am when Mitzi said we should head to the hospital. So we began the process of getting out the door, which was not an easy thing to do.

When we got to the hospital we checked in and found out I was about 6-7 cm dilated. Yup, I went from zero to almost ready to push in less than 12 hours. I know that doesn't seem very fast but it was really intense from me. At this point I may have mentioned that drugs sounded good, but JT and Mitzi helped me find other ways to manage the pain, mostly I sat in the shower. Our nurse, Karen, was amazing. She was so supportive of how we wanted the birth to go. We were so lucky to have such an awesome nurse. We were only at the hospital for a couple of hours before I started pushing. I didn't even have time to get an IV.

It took me a good two hours to push your little body out. It was the hardest things I have ever done, but it was so very worth it! When you were finally did come out your dad announced you were a girl, we didn't find out ahead of time, and cut the cord. You came straight up to my chest to hang out and get warm. After you hung out with me for a couple hours and tried to nurse (this will be a whole different post) they weighed and measured you. You were 6 pounds 13 ounces and 20.2 inches long!

You were such a good doot doot for labor and delivery. Everything went just like your dad and I had hoped, and we are so very thankful for that. You didn't start giving us trouble until it was time to get you nursing.

Thank you for such a magical 12 hours doot doot. It was a wonderful experience for all of us!

Love,
Mom

Welcome to Audrey's Blog

I decided to create a blog so our far away family (all of our family) can keep up with our little doot doot, Audrey. If you aren't interested in the life of Audrey stop reading now, she will be the focus! I will also throw in some posts about roller derby and trout, but really it's all about Audrey.

Audrey is 9 weeks now and is changing every. single. day. She is super smiley and may have even let out a giggle or two. She loves to stand up and is super interested in all that is going on around her. Including the TV. Which means we probably need to stop watching so much TV. Shoot. She loves to play on her play mat and is crazy for her mobile. She will lay in her crib and look at the animals above her and just smile and coo. It is pretty darn cute!

She is also doing big girl things like napping in her crib and sleeping for eight straight hours. At least she has for the past several weeks. The motto in this house is every night is a new night. We don't want to count any chicks before they hatch or what have you. Our little doot doot is already getting to be a big doot doot!